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Roger Ver to acquire Bitmain in record breaking 320 million dollar deal.

Mow (@samsonmow | Published on April 1, 2017 at 21:07 BST

After long talks with China’s mining conglomerate Mr Jihan Wu CEO of Bitmain, Mr Roger Ver an early bitcoin investor along with Joseph Lubin COO of Ethereum, acquired Bitmain this morning in a record breaking 320 million dollar deal.

Jihan Wu, better known as Jihad amongst his inner circles has stood down as CEO of Bitmain after being diagnosed with a crippling case of Tourette’s syndrome.

Roger Ver who was highly emotional at the time of the interview said:

“How can the community unify when we are segregating halfwits. I feel morally responsible and will stand up for halfwits everywhere, as such I staunchly oppose Segwit.”

“As Bitmain is already mining Bitcoin Unlimited it makes sense to acquire Bitmain to strengthen Bitcoin Unlimited’s future. We know Bitcoin Unlimited is centralized for now, nobody is debating that but thanks to Blockstream blocking blocks with huge TX fees it only makes sense to offer people a more centralized cheaper option. We aim to rival Paypal with a new product called Bitcoin Ultimate Payments BUP for short. This layer 2 technology runs off Bitcoin Unlimited handling point of sales specifically for micropayments at coffee shops. Another feature of Bitcoin Unlimited is the ability to shut down offending nodes remotely on mass if they refuse a transaction.”

Mr Jihan is said to be happy with the deal was unreachable for comment but did email us the below comment:

“Fuck your mother if you want fuck, fuck your sister, fuck your grandma fuck… fuck.. fuck.”


Mr Roger Ver has appointed himself, The CEO, secretary and miner of Bitcoin Unlimited.

Image via Roger Ver 


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